Who are you to judge?!

9 Jan

I started to read this article the other day on Facebook, which linked to Sky News. I didn’t read it properly I just scanned it and got to the comments, I knew what they were going to say, it’s always the same. Nasty, vile, self righteous, cruel, harsh, and downright mean.

Why were people commenting like that?

Oh it was an article about obese people having benefits cut if they don’t go to exercise sessions set up by local councils. Great. Wonderful. Let the hatred begin.

In theory this is all great. A place where people who might be scared to death about going to a gym with “buff” people to go and get help and lose weight and get fitter. Sounds wonderful, but it’s rarely like that.

Two years ago my doctor put me on a course, it was called Torfaen Weight Management System. It was a 12 week course where a small group, around ten people would go and get educated on food and exercise. There was a doctor, nurse, dietitian and psychologist who all had an interest in this type of work and wanted to help. At the time I was still not going out, I had only gone to the hospital, so I was very scared about going. I was sent a letter to go to a one on one meeting to discuss options with the nutritionist. She quickly realised my issues were emotional so asked the psychologist to join in. I went to two meetings with them and then they asked if I was ready to join this session for the course. I wanted to give it a go so I agreed.

I loved going to the sessions, I felt comfortable there, the professionals were very friendly and helpful and it felt like they cared. During the initial meetings I was told it was an hour of education every week, followed by an hours exercise and then we would get another hour of exercise in the week. Sadly this never happened, we had our hour of education, where I did learn alot, then we had our hour of “exercise” we never got the second one every week. But this “exercise” was pretty pointless. It was a small room, with some very basic equipment and they were too scared to allow us to do anything. We mainly got to lift hand weights, some of the fitter people were allowed to walk on a treadmill after a few weeks, but it wasnt really the best and just felt like we were doing nothing much, especially for the people who didn’t have too much to lose, so they became disheartened in it very fast.

In my mind, if the government really want to get serious about this, then they really need to start investing some money into it.

Proper facilities. Either using suitable existing leisure complexes or creating them. There needs to be education on nutrition. Courses. Courses for cooking, courses for education, courses for shopping, courses for diabetes. Anything you think will help, turn it into a course! A real gym with state of the art machines, a swimming pool, that either has a beach walk in or sloping steps, not the metal ones which are dangerous to use after a certain size. It needs to be a full size facility which is open throughout the week. After an initial course (the more you have to lose, the longer this course is) You can then pay a nominal fee to keep going, like a slimming club. Maybe not as expensive, but £2 every time you go. Even let there be a maintenance group there too, so if you do manage to lose alot, you can still go along once a week, just to keep you alert about whats happening. People with eating disorders of the other end of the scale have help and facilities so why shouldn’t we at this end. They are both mental issues. Just with completely different results.

Yeah, I know, I’m just dreaming there. Even if the government thought, wow we have enough money, we don’t need new cars and holidays lets do this! its a great idea! People would be furious. It’s self inflicted, why do the greedy pigs get this. Just tell them to stop shoveling food into their mouths and get off their fat arses!

Because we love being like this. I love being too scared to leave my house because of what people will shout at me. I love not being able to walk to the end of my path without being in agony, out of breath, sweating and desperate to sit down. I love not being able to what I want and have to rely on other people for the most simple thing. Yeah it’s awesome. While I can’t sit here and not take any blame, it wasn’t something I just thought one day, I know what I’ll do, give myself a lifetime of pain and hurt and regret and eat this chocolate bar or four. Things happened to me in my life to get me into this situation. And yes, while I did have a choice  in the beginning of what I ate, that bar of chocolate wasn’t an instant visual/feeling so I could think, oh wow I just did that to myself. It took years and years to get like this and depression, anxiety, hatred makes it harder to stop and look at yourself and realise what is going on and now I don’t think I do have a choice. I crave things. It’s an awful feeling to have. I get angry and moody if I don’t get what I want. I am a woman in my thirties, I know that’s not rational behavior  yet I cant control it.

Most people have some kind of vice, whether it be eating, drinking, smoking drugs, gambling, sex, cleaning, not eating, beating, exercising, control. It’s their go to thing when things start getting stressed or they have had some bad news, sometimes good too. But the thing is, they can walk down the street and no one have a clue whats going on with them. We can’t see what they have done to their lungs when they have smoked 40 a day for the last ten years, how bad they look on the inside. But I don’t have that luxury. Soon as you see me you know what my problem is, I’m weak have no will power, greedy, pig, fat, ugly, disgusting. There are many more names and thoughts associated with me. People don’t get to know me because of it, they just judge.

While I know you can’t stop people making those judgments, it would be nice if they actually thought before they wrote or shouted. Do they really believe that this is what most obese people want? While I can’t speak for anyone other than myself, I am not happy, I am not jolly (I hate that word) I am not bubbly. I am me. I have a problem with my eating habits, which I am well aware of, my whole life has been a struggle because of it, you telling me I am lazy, which you don’t actually know and I am a pig, again, how can you know and that I stuff burgers into my mouth also untrue as I don’t eat meat, isn’t something new or funny. You have just contributed to me not wanting to go out.

Of course you wouldn’t care about this, but weight gain/obesity isnt something you either have or haven’t got. One day it could happen to you. You might be young and fit right now, but give it ten years, the smoking, drinking, eating or injury might just catch up on you ;)

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