29 Jan

I’m in agony!

Yesterday I was brave, I went to the gym and had a swim. I’ve been having such a hard time since Christmas I thought I need to do something to change. So for £38 a month I get to kill myself everyday. Its at a beautiful hotel, Celtic Manor Resort, and I get to feel like I’m on holiday for the few hours I’m there.

I’m not letting the stares and long looks bother me (although they do deep down) and I’m getting on with what I’m there for, albeit much much slower than everyone else!

The pain this morning though is horrible, I felt good after it yesterday, but my legs, feet and bottom of my spine (thanks sit down bike!!) are killing me, but I shall be going back in a few hours to do it all again. I have the Jacuzzi to look forward to though.

I’ve been put on a new medication, Januvia and it seems to have stopped me being hungry most of the day. So now I just have to contend with my head telling me I need chocolate, thats a little bit harder and why I’m hoping the gym will sort that out, if I’m doing all that work, why do I want to ruin it.

I also had a letter yesterday, giving me an appointment to the hospital which will [hopefully] be the start of my weight loss surgery. I think I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I cannot do this without help. It’s not something I want to do at all, but I’m 36 now, I have ruined my life by not being able to control what I eat, do I really want to be fighting constantly with whatever “life” I do have left? So I am going to go, see what they have to say and maybe I’ll make it out the other side and be a “normal” person one day.

What a nice thought.


2 Responses to “Technogym!”

  1. helenfarmer01 January 31, 2013 at 16:33 #

    I wish you all the luck in the world ………. as some one who has been the end of many nasty comments, gone through the emotional eating (and still does from time to time) and also had the weight loss surgery, if you ever need someone to shout, scream at or just ask a question to then let me know.
    I’m more than happy to help anyway I can and give moral support!!
    Helen x

    • Hay January 31, 2013 at 17:57 #

      Thank you so much Helen.

      People can be really mean can’t they. But I’m stood (or dying) in that gym at the moment and not letting anyone bother me! It may not last, so I might just take you up on that offer of screaming :p

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