Food Required!

20 Nov

I thought I had this. I did alot of research before surgery (14 years to be exact!) I had been reading blogs since I got online back in 2000, when surgery was still open and there was alot more recovery time, I knew the risks, complications and the good times. I would get through surgery and all would be good, I knew what I was doing!

How wrong was I!

I don’t have a problem with food per se, I’m not struggling in that sense, I’m the opposite, I just don’t care about it. I can go all day and not eat and not be bothered, but this has brought its own set of problems, as I mentioned in my last post.

The scales are stuck! Stuck. Stuck. Stuck.

My body seems to think it’s now starving (Hello body, you are NOT starving!!!) so it’s holding on to every damn bit of fat it can and this is stressing be out beyond belief.
I go back to see my surgeon Mr Barry on the 16 December and if I haven’t got well into the 130s by then I’m going to be so upset, I feel like such a failure, I can’t even describe it, it’s been just over two months now or ten weeks if you want to be precise and I’m pretty sure since I come out of hospital I have lost 3kg 3!! Thats about 6lb, that is not on in anyway at all.

So what do I do? Eat!

Sounds so simple doesn’t it. But I am just cooking for me and what I do get to eat is tiny, so the effort in cooking seems like a mountain to climb, just to get in a small amount of food, that you may or may not be able to finish. I need a chef, I have decided! One who understands my needs and will just bring me food on a regular basis, now that would be wonderful.

I’ve woken up a bit more positive this morning I think. I’m going to start by tracking my food again, I’ve just made a protein shake I am actually enjoying, so that’s a good start to the day, I’m waiting for some people to start some work on my house, then I think I shall go take the dogs for a walk and try to focus my head on the goals of today.

Eat. Food.

Simple, now I just need to find the food to eat, sometimes it’s hard being a vegetarian and I wish I wasn’t, but sadly I have no choice in it. I haven’t been able to eat meat since I was about ten years old, but I believe it would make life now, so much easier if I just could. But not a chance.

I guess I need a new motto!



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