Knock me out!

11 Aug

Well this medication has knocked me for six! All I want to do is sleep. I like sleeping, I really do, but it’s stopping me from doing anything else. The only good thing is I’m not thinking about things when I’m asleep and I do like to over think, I just think even more in my awake hours lol. Sleeping-is-nice-You-forget-about-everything-for-a-little-whileYesterday I really wanted a bagel, so I thought I’d have one, that was a huge mistake! I cut it in half and put cream cheese with quorn ham on it. Had less than half of the one side and it was stuck, I have never felt so bad in all my life, it wouldn’t come up or go down it was well and truly stuck! For the next few hours all I had was foamies, no amount of trying to be sick would bring it up, I was feeling so sorry for myself. So I went to bed and slept for about 16 hours! And when I woke up I still wanted more!

This is not good for going to the gym. I wanted to try and do as much as possible before tomorrow, oh well so much for that, if I get the op, hopefully I will be over the tiredness by the time I can go back to the gym.

Had to wait in this morning for the guy to come and look at the car. He took some pics of the damage and I guess they give them an estimate, he said they will be in touch soon to say when they are taking the car and when I will get the courtesy car.

0d0b9817d9e23d749f74e4b0f77c1a61If surgery does go ahead this time, it’s going to kill me not being able to drive. I really don’t know how I managed so long without it. The one thing I did like about being in a long distance relationship was the driving to see him. I loved that. Loved being on the motorway especially if it was sunny, windows down, sunglasses on, music up loud and going somewhere I wanted to be! Oh of course the arguments when I got there weren’t good, but the driving was! I’m missing that more than anything!

b0dcd19e46e8f8fa6f6001b42dd35255I have started to play WoW again, why, I don’t know! Maybe to protect myself from people, but in saying that, the last two people I left into my life were from WoW, so thats probably not a smart move! It will keep me occupied for a little while. Keep my mind busy and give me something to do while I’m healing (hopefully!) Part of me doesn’t even want to wake up after surgery, I know thats a terrible thing to say, but I guess that’s what depression can do to you. I don’t even think it’s real depression, it’s more circumstance, but it still makes you feel pretty damn shitty!

Maybe I will wake up in a better frame of mind and be ready to tackle the shit that I’ve been left to deal with lately and put it all behind me.

I’ll be back tomorrow, hopefully post op.

And I couldn’t have put it better myself Charlie Sheen! This was my plan all along. Now to stick to it!


H x



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