Out of the Darkness!

16 Aug

So I woke up on my tummy in the middle of the night!

Oops.

It’s the only way I can really sleep, so it’s inevitable I will find myself that way at some point, just didn’t want it to be so soon!

It was actually quite comfortable, the only time I’m in pain is when I try and turn over, so I just stayed like it, and wiggled! I’m a strange sleeper :p

LUSH!!

LUSH!!

I gave up with the dressings, it doesn’t look too bad. No stitches, looks like they used glue, it’s very hot and hard to touch all around there and the bruising is coming up nicely now. But I think I’m going to survive and at least no more emergency trips to the hospital at the most awkward times! Yay!.. or maybe I would have been better staying in the hospital at those times! My life would have been so much less complicated if I had :)

My sister is off to Harry Potter World tomorrow, I so so so want to go driving down there with her, I love that drive so much, but only bad memories are there now. She is going with her ex boyfriend. They arranged it when they were together, but have recently split, luckily they are remaining friends, which I think is the way it should be. No need for nastiness and bitterness, especially when it’s not deserved.

I’ve finally figured out my macros for ketosis! But the thought of weighing and measuring every single thing really puts me off. Clare said to just keep the carbs under 20 and it will be ok. I am still working on it!

freeAt the moment I am not being good with food at all. I’m really annoyed with myself as I should be eating right to help with the healing, especially protein, but I’m not. So as soon as I’m better I am going to go hard on this. No lattes, no carbs at all. I did it a year ago to get surgery, I can do it again. I know what to eat and I know how easy it is after the first few days. Just got to get my head back into it. It’s great when the food cravings go away. You feel free from food.

Also yesterday I felt free in other ways. Like everything I have been feeling lately just lifted! It was an amazing feeling and I’m so glad I’m out of it. Never will I get myself into a situation like that again. My life is moving forward, not backward or standing still. I was in such a dark place for a few weeks, but instantly everything changed. When you realise you are so much better than what people wanted you to believe you are free of them and their negativity.

I am so happy in myself right now and maybe you do have to get to your lowest point to realise this and boy was I there, but now I feel amazing and nothing is going to take that away from me again.

Try your best

Free

Soon

H x

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