Tag Archives: Gym

Gym bunny is back!

2 Oct

Went to a class Wednesday, was a little bit worried, but I kept it nice and easy and enjoyed it alot.

Was worried I wouldn’t get back into it, but I did and went again yesterday and just about to go pick my friend up now so we can go again this morning.

Don’t think I need to worry about not wanting to go just yet!

247lbs

247lbs

Especially as yesterday I woke up to this lovely little number yesterday and again this morning.

Happy Hayley!

Soon

H x

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Kittens for motivation?!

27 Jul

Back at it again after a very bad weekend off.

Two times at the gym.

Anger, frustration, sadness, hate and hurt all taken out on the machines and boy did it feel good.

On my second visit, I got on a machine and the man next to me, a fully grown man, probably in his thirties was stood there watching kitten videos on youtube.. I was a bit flabergasted to say the least.

Whatever gets you through your workout dude, whatever…

Onwards and upwards! ^^

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Soon

H x

I conquered the Wave!

24 Jul

Be warned this post WILL contain some swearing!

Two times at the gym again today, loving it, but it’s got me thinking.

LUSH!!!

LUSH!!!

This is me after 200 cals burned on the cross trainer,  I put the effort in and I turn in to sweaty betty, I put it up to 25 effort and bloody work as hard as I can.

My clothes are wet my face is wet and I feel fantastic. When I’m on the weights for my legs I have it set to 30-45kg and I can bloody feel it, today I actually noticed an improvement, normally my legs will only go so far on the adductor and it hurts, I did that so much easier today I felt a little but pleased with myself. But I look around and see past the grunters, we all know who they are, weights as high as they can gurning with the loudest “..eurgh” they can master, and I see the people who just seem to be there to watch the TV on the machines, they’re effort is set at 1 and they are not putting anything in and seem to be having a leisurely time? Now what the fuck is up with that?
Sweat Sparkle

They are all so beautifully slim, hair perfect, makeup done to perfection and not a drop of sweat, wait, excuse me, I mean sparkle on them! Where did I go so tragically wrong that they get to look like that and I got to 32 stone. Okay maybe by just turning up to the gym there was some secret slim society I was unaware of in my teens and twenties and if I had the guts to go at that age I would have magically stayed a healthy weight. But how do they do it? Why do they get to put zero, and I mean ZERO effort in and get to look like that!?
I am seriously baffled by this phenomenon and I know I missed out on the memo at some point in my life, it must have got lost in the post somewhere in time.
Okay, okay I know in reality it’s all my own fault.
Depression is not a good thing and you don’t even know you have it when you do. Me and Clare were talking about it the other day and when you’re in it, to you it’s just life, it’s normal, you just think that’s the way it’s meant to be, until you realise you need help.
quote-easy-225x300I really do know that if I could have seen it, then I could have prevented it all, but I really couldn’t, I didn’t want to be like that, in reality I couldn’t see myself getting bigger, I couldn’t see how bad my life had got. I thought I was happy and okay, I had my husband and I thought that was all I needed. How wrong could I have been.
But now I’m out of it and I see what’s happened, what I did to myself and how I would do anything to go back and make the correct choices it is bloody annoying when I see them in there so jauntily talking and walking, like “yeah I’m doing this I’m so good, I deserve to look this good and be so fit and healthy!” Fuck you, you ARE just lucky, clearly because that shit there ain’t making you fitter or healthier!

...And breathe...

..ANNNND..Breath..

My persistence has paid off though, I have finally figured out the wave machine, I knew something wasn’t right with that, the first day I tried it, it felt totally alien and I couldn’t get it, but the next day I jumped back on and with the assistance of my #gymbunny guide, I got that thing down and it is frigging awesome! You can really feel it working the inner and outer thighs. I love it!

I am so happy right now!

Soon

H x

Choose-happiness-quotes

Pondering … Insanity..?

22 Jul

Goodness I am working bloody hard this week and I feel fantastic! I keep wanting to push myself, I had to force myself to not go to the gym for the third time today, although the day isn’t over yet, so who know where I might end up!

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, I’m starting to wonder if I am now in that situation. I love my lattes, it’s definitely not the coffee I want or am addicted to, it’s the milk, can you be addicted to milk? Lol I have no clue, but I feel like I am.  I have tried to drink a normal coffee and I think it’s awful, just isn’t going to happen at all.  So what is it? I love going to Costa, I know them all there and see people come in I know and chat to them.

Oh so tasty!

Oh so tasty!

I do love being here (yes I’m here right now!!) I look forward to my cup of almost milk and adding my sweet n low to it.  It’s my treat, the highlight of my day (yes I’m still that sad) my reward before during and after the gym, well maybe not during, but you get the idea! It’s a running joke with every single person that knows me and even some that don’t, but I’m not finding it funny anymore. I want more weight loss, no I NEED more weight loss, but it’s not happening. So even though I really am not doing the same thing over and over, I am exercising alot and loving it, eating lots of protein and good fats with the occasional badness creeping into my pouch, am I the definition of insanity when I keep having lattes day in day out and expecting something to finally move?

I know Clares answer to this, when she finally stops decorating long enough to read this I’ll get a message saying it’s the carbs in the latte stalling me!  But it can’t really be true can it? I’m at the stage now where the best weight loss stops, the hunger comes back and stalls are inevitable, well they have been since surgery as I’ve lost so much, so is it a combination of all that, or is it just the one thing doing it? Can I give up Costa for a week to test it out? I don’t know. Should I try? Probably. Will I cope? I doubt it. I guess I need to decide if my sanity, health and weight loss are more important than my lattes and Costa people. I feel so frustrated by it though. I have given up everything I used to enjoy, yes for the better, I know I had to do it, I don’t drink, smoke or take drugs. Pepsi Max has gone, all things fizzy, carby food, pizza <3 Oh how I miss you, chocolate, cake, crisps anything that I had daily is gone. I drink gallons of water/vimto everyday without vimto I would still be struggling with Pepsi Max,  so is having a pint or two of milk every day that much of a bad thing? I’m starting to think so. Can I replace this addiction with the gym? Can I find something else that will work? I need to go on pinterest and find a new addiction! If anyone has any ideas I would gratefully receive them.

Soon

H x

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I can beat myself!

20 Jul

I love the things I can just do now.

I messaged Clare to say I needed to talk, I was off to Costa, cos you know, I can drive now! And her husband brought her to me and it was nice sitting there moaning, her two youngest girls came too and it was a beautiful day, so we decided to go up Twmbarlwm, it’s the most scary drive E.V.E.R. The lane is only just big enough for one car and even then it’s pushing it, we had branches and twigs hitting us and when another car comes the other way, we start screaming! Not fun when I’m trying to keep myself alive let alone my friend, a five and three year old! Ugh I am responsible for that. So much pressure!!

We make it to the car park in one piece and are greeted with the climb to the top of the mountain.

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Even looking back at this height there is a really good view, but when we get to the top it’s amazing, and its 360 degrees. I love it. When you reach the pimple at the top (locals call it something else!) you are so hot but luckily the wind picks up nicely, so you have a breeze cooling you back down, which I most definitely need!

Looking out over the Bristol Channel

Looking out over the Bristol Channel

Yesterday was a good food day, lots of protein. I do think I’m getting alot more hungry, which I’m hoping is down to the exercise I’m doing.

I went to the gym twice again today. I beat my first go on the cross trainer when I went back, so that made me happy. Though I noticed when I took the pic it said the effort was 12… it so was not! It was set at 25 all through the exercise, I guess it dropped down to that at the end! I like beating myself :)

Hoping to go again twice tomorrow as well.
I go to that gym now, not bothering about anyone, I smile at people and carry on doing what I’m doing, listening to the songs in my head and pushing myself, sweat dripping off my face (which I hate with a passion!) and I just don’t care, the more I sweat the better I feel now. I know I am pushing myself with all I can. I want this so much, I want to be stronger, fitter, healthier, I want to be me, but better. I wish so much I could have had that when I was younger, I might not have got to where I did.
I see people in there and I feel sad for them, especially if they are young and can see them heading for where I was and I just want to scream at them. They sit there on the machines, putting in no effort whatsoever and it’s quite depressing. I know that there is nothing you can do until you are ready for it, until something clicks in your own head and maybe you will never get it. I left it too late before it clicked for me and we all know what I had to do to make myself better.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my bypass with everything I am, but I wish I it would have happened for me when I was younger,

How far

whether that is me going it alone, or finally being brave enough to admit I needed the help. With all my heart I wish I had done this sooner.
But I am now doing the best I can for myself and that’s all we can expect. I felt such a buzz today sat on the adductor. I could feel the muscles in my legs working. I haven’t had that for a long time and I most definitely liked it, I wanted more. I felt happy. I felt alive. It was good.

I am completely drug free at the moment (barring any bypass drugs ofc!!) I came off my last medical one this past week and oh my! My eyes have opened with how stunted my emotions have been. I am grateful to citalopram for allowing me to go out again, so very, very grateful, but for what it was suppressing for six years I am most definitely not! Maybe one day I shall explain, but lets just say I am enjoying every single feeling I now have back! ;) ..though I might have to deal with my whole marriage breakdown soon.. don’t want to deal with that..
On Sunday I am doing a 5k walk with my old Slimming World group, we are doing Race for Life. I’m looking forward to that, last year I went to cheer them on, hoping I could do it, but me and my dogs just watched, can’t believe I’m actually going to be doing it this year. I have my pink T-shirt ready to go and I will be taking pics, so expect lots! Exciting times!

Soon

H x

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Workouts and walking

10 Jun

I signed up for direct debit this morning at the gym. Which means I can now do any class I want. I get to do it all! Yay go me.
Went to the referral gym class this morning though, just so it wasn’t so scary yet, but Bryn had other ideas, he only went and threw me in with all the “normal” people with the omnia circuit. Bloody hell that was tough and daunting, all these slim fit girls and me! But they were very encouraging, and wanted me to do it. I gave all of the exercises a go apart from the step up onto a box, that was way too high. I tried but not enough strength in my legs yet. So Bryn showed me some exercises I can do to build up to it. I even did this one, don’t know what it’s called, but it’s a mini hammock low to the ground, where you put your feet in and rest it on your ankles and hold yourself up with your arms so your legs are suspended and you are in a plank position. You then pull your knees in to your chest.. well that’s the plan anyway, I have no idea what I looked like, but I gave it a damn good try. The bottom of my spine kept dipping towards the ground, which hurt and my knees didn’t make it took my chest, but I gave it my best shot. I felt so happy after our third circuit.
I’m going back to a studio class soon and I’m going to speak to Jackie about which classes she thinks I can do, that’s a little harder to push me that little bit more.
I can’t believe how much I am enjoying exercise at the moment, I’ve always enjoyed swimming and I used to love netball when I was young, but fat got in the way of doing anything like that, so it’s feels good to be enjoying it and wanting to push myself more.
The weekend is coming round so fast and I can’t wait. It’s probably going to bring up lots of issues for me again, but I’m preparing myself for them! The person I went to visit two weeks ago is coming for the weekend and we are going out with Clare and her husband and I have been told I’m having a drink, this is either going to fun or very painful lol cocktails from wetherspoons, it will be my first time having a proper drink for a very long time. Hopefully it will help me relax and enjoy myself more.
It’s going to be a walking weekend, he is going up the “hill” also known as a mountain! Clare suggested we took a walk up twmbarlwm instead, but neither of us knew how to get there,so we decided to go find out. That was some scary stuff! We ended up travelling backwards down a huge hill with massive potholes and only just enough for one car, I squealed the whole way down and I think Clare wanted to cry, but we survived!
We then found the correct road and it went on for miles, but only just the width of one car, it was scary as hell, but we found the car park. It looked high up and Clare said you know we have to go up now we are here. So off we went all the way to the top and boy was it worth it, 360 degree view, we could see all the way to cardiff, could see the millennium grounds as well as Barry Island. It was breathtaking. I cannot wait to go back there on the weekend, providing the weather stays nice.

Back to class I go!

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Soon
Hx

Fantabulous

22 May

Well I’ve had a brilliant few days!
I’m keeping Clares words close to my heart and keep repeating,  the scales don’t matter look what you’re doing!
It’s kind of freed me up a bit, which is a weird thing to say as I feel alot more focused! Yesterday I did something I never thought I’d be able to do! I walked to the highest point of my mountain and met Clare her husband and daughter half way and it felt bloody amazing. Not sure I would have made it all the way without them, but damn I felt good! This was the view that greeted me.

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The one and only time I walked up here my brother was in a pushchair and he is 31 this year, so it’s got to be close to 30 years! Thank you Clare, we both have tough times but, you are my rock xxx
I’ve also been back at the gym this week, went to a very fun aqua aerobics class this morning then went to the gym at 11, it’s exercise referral, but Jackie and Bryn wouldn’t let me use the machines and they damn near killed me! I never sweated so much!
Loving the roller coaster at the moment!

Soon H x

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