Tag Archives: low carb

Lets NOT eat!

23 Sep

Today was a hard day.

My beautiful niece was six and my brother decided to take her to Kaspas in Cardiff. It’s a dessert restaurant and I wanted to go to celebrate with them all.

But I did not anticipate how hard it was going to be! Everything looked at smelled amazing and they were all eating and I sat there with nothing, but I made it through, I might not have been the most sociable person there, but I got out the other side and didn’t have anything, I’m so good these days at going to a restaurant and just eating nothing, no one questions me. They might if I went in there alone and just sat there though hmm maybe I’ll try it! haha

But I seriously don’t think I will ever put myself through something like that again, it really isnt worth the mental torture.

I’m still going strong with low carbs, obvs, or I would have eaten one or at least some of those delicious desserts that were tempting me. I’m so pleased with myself.

I am getting a little bit unsure over what to eat now, its omelette, cheese, eggs and quorn, it gets a bit boring! I look at Pinterest, but when you have to work out all the macros, it can get a bit tedious.

In other news, I’ve kind of met someone who is really rather quite nice too.
I met him for the first time the other evening and we had a really nice night. I can’t see it going very far, but it’s given me confidence again, which is what I needed after the last disaster!
And I really need to stop worrying about my body, if you meet the right person, none of it matters and they can actually make you feel amazing. Some people just really don’t care about the things you think are a deal breaker!

I did however speak to my doctor the other day about my legs. He said to speak to the surgeon, which I guessed he would. He said the chances of getting it done without paying for it, is slim. I had a feeling that would happen. I obviously will talk to them the next time I go there (if I ever get a letter asking me again!) as it is affecting me, they’re in the way. I don’t want them to look perfect, I want them to not have fat pockets rubbing together getting in the way.

I also decided to get my bloods done on my own and my parathyroid is raised again, having it retested again tomorrow, but I can’t see it changing as it’s been like that since the last time I was tested.

Not completely sure what this means, I think it mean’s I’m lacking calcium, however that is a normal number, so very weird!

Soon

H x

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Week down

21 Sep

Last monday I started low carb properly. I have been in ketosis, well I am assuming I am thanks to Ketostix, but not completely sure!

Oh how true!

Oh how true!

I have kept under 20g of carbs most days, there may have been one or two below 25, but never above for the last week. I think I am still struggling a bit. The scales are not moving at al, which of course discourages you, but I am not going to give up yet. But there is one thing I have given up.. milk! It’s still killing me, but the lovely people at my local Costa are allowing me to bring in unsweetened Soya milk, so I can still kind of have a latte, its not the same as milk, not even close, but it’s better than nothing and I get to go to my fave place still! They are not meant to do 8e3b133044ffd295d37fa042418d8e5bit, but as I’m there all the time and bring everyone, they are allowing me to do it.

What can I say? They love me!

I was hoping to be discharged from the district nurse today, but I forgot I had to go for a diabetic retinopathy screening, so I had to cancel and she should come tomorrow, so fingers crossed I get freedom.

Which means… Gym, I should be able to go back this week and I cannot wait.

It’s been six long weeks of healing and no exercise and I am ready to get sweaty again.

I haven’t really got much to update at the moment, things are pretty quiet with me not being able to do much. I did drive to Liverpool last weekend and had the best slice of pizza I have ever tasted. Thank you Matthew, I waited almost four years and constantly being told how great it was and he was bloody right! I enjoyed every mouthful.

Now how to recreate it keto style! lol

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I need more FAT!!! Less Protein and I’m under on carbs!!! What do I dooooo?!

Finally went walkies!

4 Sep

I almost went the other day, but got distracted by a friend and am so bored at the moment, so I took my dogs and went up the mountain!

I didn’t go all the way up, I drove up as high as I could and took a slow walk across the flattest part. There are a few inclines, but nothing like walking from either carpark up to Blaen Bran or to the top where the ariel is.

The sun was shining and the breeze was lovely, it was just what we needed, poor dogs haven’t been out far in three weeks. We sat on a tree log for a while and just enjoyed it.2015-09-04 13.08.51On the way back I did get a little tired, its funny how not working out for three weeks can change your fitness, okay there was an operation and complications in the middle of that, but it was strange getting tired on that little walk, I am so missing going to the gym and can’t wait until I can get back to it.

Packing!

Packing!

The one district nurse Lindsey thinks I will be done by next week. Still can get a fair bit of packing in there and changing to the aquacel has made it bleed more, just want it all to be finished now. Hopefully soon!

Food is still going well, staying away from carbs and feeling good about that. I haven’t even craved anything during the week before my period which is a bonus! Normally I am horiffic the week before craving everything in sight.

I’m debating whether to actually go on real dates at the moment too. Like I said before I have been talking to people, but most of them are so damn odd! The amount of strange things people have said to me over the last few weeks has been unreal! When I was last single, men were NOT like this at all. I have no idea what these “men” think women want these days, all I know it is not what they are offering me! Well not for me anyway, I have no idea about other people, but my god, it is awful! I think I could start a whole new blog on internet dating and the things they say! It would be quite funny!

Anyone know where all the normal men are these days? Someone guide me that way please!

Soon

H x

Well that’s a nice suprise!

2 Sep

2015-09-02 08.37.57I woke up to this number this morning. Very happy Hayley!

I cannot remember being in this stone bracket on the way up, I remember being in the 16s and 18s but not this. The last time I would have weighed this was sometime in 1996, almost 20 years ago!

Oh well at least its going down now. I have been stuck in the 18s for such a long time. Probably three months, but I’ve made some changes this week and it’s moving again.

Guess what the problem is.. carbs. Cut them down and it starts moving, even without exercising, as I haven’t done any of that, cannot wait to get back to it, but I think it’s going to be at least another two weeks. My carbs have probably been under 60g a day, I haven’t actually tracked them, though I should. Still driking my lattes though, so I know it’s still quite high.

2015-09-02 11.37.53I’m slowly healing, have the district nurse coming everyday to pack and change the dressing. Shes just been and it’s surprising how much aquacel can fit in the cavity! But that’s alot better than the kaltostat I had up til yesterday. I hate the fact that they burned me with what I’m assuming is the cauterising tool! Made me mad. It’s all a mess, but at least its a healing mess now lol

In more good news, I bought myself a jacket from Next yesterday, in a size 20 and I love it. I also tried on the jeans I bought from there a few weeks ago and they fit quite well I even feel comfortable sat down. So everything is all going in the right direction again.

Editing to say I just wore the jacket out and it was really weird,I have never worn green before or a jacket like this! I almost feel….   Normal!

2015-09-02 11.54.44

New Jacket!

I’ve had a few bad months, but that’s all passed me now and I’m quite happy again!

I hopefully have an exciting week next week. Not sure I’m doing the right thing yet, but time will tell and I’ll let you know if/when it happens!

Soon

H x

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I conquered the Wave!

24 Jul

Be warned this post WILL contain some swearing!

Two times at the gym again today, loving it, but it’s got me thinking.

LUSH!!!

LUSH!!!

This is me after 200 cals burned on the cross trainer,  I put the effort in and I turn in to sweaty betty, I put it up to 25 effort and bloody work as hard as I can.

My clothes are wet my face is wet and I feel fantastic. When I’m on the weights for my legs I have it set to 30-45kg and I can bloody feel it, today I actually noticed an improvement, normally my legs will only go so far on the adductor and it hurts, I did that so much easier today I felt a little but pleased with myself. But I look around and see past the grunters, we all know who they are, weights as high as they can gurning with the loudest “..eurgh” they can master, and I see the people who just seem to be there to watch the TV on the machines, they’re effort is set at 1 and they are not putting anything in and seem to be having a leisurely time? Now what the fuck is up with that?
Sweat Sparkle

They are all so beautifully slim, hair perfect, makeup done to perfection and not a drop of sweat, wait, excuse me, I mean sparkle on them! Where did I go so tragically wrong that they get to look like that and I got to 32 stone. Okay maybe by just turning up to the gym there was some secret slim society I was unaware of in my teens and twenties and if I had the guts to go at that age I would have magically stayed a healthy weight. But how do they do it? Why do they get to put zero, and I mean ZERO effort in and get to look like that!?
I am seriously baffled by this phenomenon and I know I missed out on the memo at some point in my life, it must have got lost in the post somewhere in time.
Okay, okay I know in reality it’s all my own fault.
Depression is not a good thing and you don’t even know you have it when you do. Me and Clare were talking about it the other day and when you’re in it, to you it’s just life, it’s normal, you just think that’s the way it’s meant to be, until you realise you need help.
quote-easy-225x300I really do know that if I could have seen it, then I could have prevented it all, but I really couldn’t, I didn’t want to be like that, in reality I couldn’t see myself getting bigger, I couldn’t see how bad my life had got. I thought I was happy and okay, I had my husband and I thought that was all I needed. How wrong could I have been.
But now I’m out of it and I see what’s happened, what I did to myself and how I would do anything to go back and make the correct choices it is bloody annoying when I see them in there so jauntily talking and walking, like “yeah I’m doing this I’m so good, I deserve to look this good and be so fit and healthy!” Fuck you, you ARE just lucky, clearly because that shit there ain’t making you fitter or healthier!

...And breathe...

..ANNNND..Breath..

My persistence has paid off though, I have finally figured out the wave machine, I knew something wasn’t right with that, the first day I tried it, it felt totally alien and I couldn’t get it, but the next day I jumped back on and with the assistance of my #gymbunny guide, I got that thing down and it is frigging awesome! You can really feel it working the inner and outer thighs. I love it!

I am so happy right now!

Soon

H x

Choose-happiness-quotes

Keto – Oh No!

13 Jul

Keto, paelo, low carb etc is something I think about alot. Clare is the almost expert she is the one I go to when I need help. She has given me alot of information and I have read alot myself and it’s something I really want to stick to. It makes so much sense.
Carbs feed carbs it’s as simple as that. When I was on my pre op diet, after a few days, once you get through the pain it gets easy, you no longer crave the sugars and it just becomes a way of life. And it feels bloody good to be that in control of what you are eating. I’m pretty sure I was sticking to under 30g a day when I was on my preop. But since then, because I have nothing to work towards I find that so hard.

As anyone who knows me, I love my one shot latte from Costa and I can have as many as three a day (no one would care if I had five coffees at home, but everyone has an opinion on my Costa addiction!) so it’s bye bye keto right there!
I also suffer from another terrible affliction, I have an awful disease that no carnivores understand…

…I am a vegetarian! Oh no, the horror!

So again, that in itself makes going keto bloody hard!

But it’s something I want to do, I don’t want to be super low to begin with, I know I can’t do it, so I’m just going to aim under 50g that is going to be difficult with giving up my lattes, I’ll start going down to one a day. It can only be a good thing as I know I have used them as a food substitute, which is now getting harder as the hunger has come back. Goddamnit I did not miss that I can tell you! It’s funny how no one really talks about that. It’s not proper hunger like I used to feel, but it’s definitely there something I could really live without! Makes me feel pretty shitty.
So now I’m starting the research on how to go keto as a vegetarian, I’m reading this document I have found which looks quite interesting, I haven’t finished reading it yet as I haven’t had any time to just stop and focus. With the gym and road trips and people commitments I can’t get the time to give it my full attention, so I’m not 100% committed to it just yet, but keeping my carbs down as much as I can.
Doing this as a non meat eater obviously is going to be alot different, I need to get nutrients from other sources and my carb content is naturally going to be that much higher than someone who is a meat eater. I am OK with that, this is about me and doing the best for me and I cannot eat meat, no matter who says I should. It just ain’t gonna happen guys! Let’s all become vegetarians instead!

I have the nutritionist in 20 days and I would love love love to be under 18 (252) stone by then. I can’t see it happening though. There is no control over what my weight is, it has been like this since surgery, no matter what I do it will stick or move whenever it wants to regardless of any input on my part. Some people find that really hard to understand, and it’s very frustrating, but my nurse told me it’s expected, I am nearly 14 stone down in total, I have to be happy with that. But I still want to prove Mr Barry wrong!
I’m hoping I will get to see him in the next few months, my 12 month checkup should be in September and I really want to ask him about my legs. If I could get surgery on them it would help alot. Not even to look better for cosmetic reasons, though that would make me feel better, but for every day life reason, the fat pockets are in my way and often feels like I have something caught in my legs, it’s very annoying. And no amount of work I do at the gym is going to solve this and believe me, I’m putting in alot of work, I can feel muscles I’ve never felt before, in my thighs and arms but they are coated in mounds of excess skin! If I feel brave enough I shall show my legs (be warned- NOT pretty!) when I get home! No matter what we do or how hard we now work nothing is ever going to let us forget what we used to be, yes we might have abused ourselves but when we finally see what we’ve done and need help, we will always have a reminder and never look normal. It’s very disheartening.

I went for my preop appointment this morning, had the most miserable nurse I have ever had the pleasure of meeting going through it all with me. He was most unhelpful and quite rude, I was trying to explain about the diabetes situation, but he wasn’t listening, and said I don’t care what you were, sat across from the table from me now are you diabetic.. I gave up and said no.. So if my bloods go crazy, it’s his fault! I have to go into hospital at 07:30 next Wednesday have to see the anaesthetist because my bmi was 41 and it’s not meant to be over 40 then hopefully there will be a bed and I will get my hernia repaired. Though he did say there probably won’t be a bed! Fabulous indeed!
I’m scared of how this is going to affect me. Will I put weight back on? No exercise or driving for a couple of weeks at least. I am slightly worried.

They say losing weight is all about the food exercise just strengthens and tones you, so if I can get my head into doing keto then I guess not being able to exercise shouldn’t matter at all.
So this is the plan this week, brain be prepared ketosis is coming!

Make a Fucking Plan

Food, Glorious Food!

1 Feb

I got my fitbit on Friday, very nice it is too, though I forgot to wear it this morning when I went out so lost half a days info! It runs out of battery very quickly if you have bluetooth and GPS on, but no different to a phone I guess, which is why I had it off this morning, thought I would charge it quickly, that didn’t go so well lol.

Been doing good on food lately, staying away from carbs as much as possible, I got the scales back from my dads, so I have some in the house and don’t have to run to Boots when I want to weigh and when I first got on them I was weighing 20st12lbs, how close they are to boots I have no ideas as I was 3lb on that when I last weighed, but when I weighed this morning on my scales I was 20st4lb, so it should be moving a little at least.

I’ve made some nice food the last couple of days too, I really have to put my mind to it. If I don’t think about what food I’m going to do then it just goes out of my head, so I either pick up something I shouldn’t, or I just don’t bother to eat, so I’m pleased with this week. Some pics of what I’ve done, the dessert was lovely and creamy and I’ve just had the pizzas now, I wish I had taken a pic of the one I just made, it was great, highly reccommend making any of these.


Lets see what this week brings! Soon H x 5261165a13d12fa44d913a51d8c5b3a7

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