Archive | May, 2014

Week is over!

27 May
Shiny book!

Shiny book!

I made it woot woot!

The week is over and NOW I realise I should have used lol never mind. Going to start recording from today I think.

So weigh in was last night, I was panicking like hell before I got on those scales, I was sure I hadn’t lost anything (stop weighing at Boots in the week Hayley!!!) and I lost 8lbs! Yay I broke my 1½ losses the last few weeks. Not only did I get my 2½ stone award and shiny, but my 3 stone and Club 10. I also got Slimmer of the Week! I was so pleased.

Sadly it looks like Clare is right, carbs are a no go, but don’t tell her I said that lol

I am at a weight now that I haven’t been in the nine years I have lived back in my home town. To say I’m happy is an understatement!

Now to keep this up, I have 12lbs, just 12!!! to get my BMI where I need it to be for the bypass instead of the sleeve, I hope I can do it.





Head is far behind

25 May

I needed to buy a top for the party last night, so yesterday when my dad picked me up I went and got one from Yours, I don’t normally wear colours, but didn’t want to wear black or white and saw this which I thought was cute.

While I was there I thought I would pick up some trousers, I don’t have that many as it is, but am so fed up of them dragging along the ground and getting wet (thank you British Summer Time!) I thought I would take a look. They had sizes in 30/32 and 26/28 then it was just 24, 22, 20 etc, so I thought I would get the 26/28, I didn’t try them on, the horror as I’m sure many of you will know or remember of trying to change into something in a changing room is just beyond awful, the sweating and hotness, the cramped spaces, the embarrassment if they don’t fit, no thank you, I will deal with it at home! So you either take things home hoping and praying that they fit, so you don’t have to return them to the shop, I hate doing that so, hooray if they do!

happiestI got home and thought I better try everything on, the trousers were way too big and I thought damnit, I don’t want to wear them so they’re dragging again, but I didn’t want to ask my dad to take me back to town, so after talking to Clare I thought sod it, and got them together and went on the bus, I love the freedom I am getting now, it’s getting less and less scary being out there, but I still have my moments, mostly brought on by other people (A little girl in Boots, while I was weighing, I wanted to tell her she was a horrible little girl and her parents should be ashamed of her, but I restrained myself, pretended to be an adult and walked away!) but sometimes, just because my own head conjures up things people might be thinking and saying, I hate that so much.

I got to the store and was all hot and horrible, because it’s warm, but raining atm, so I had to have a coat on, the one good thing about Yours, they realise who their customer is and keep the aircon on, oh that was so nice as I was stood in the queue waiting to be served. I looked for a size 24 still not believing I could fit into it, I’ve always had to get the largest size in shops have which is usually 30/32 sometimes you may be lucky and get a 32/34 (the shame) but they didn’t have a 24, so I was contemplating just walking back out and making do, but something made me pick up the 22, think it was the thought of maybe getting my operation Soon™ [ WoW] or thinking they might fit in a few weeks, so I exchanged them not thinking they would even come close to me. Went and got a drink from Costa and got the bus back home.

Then I got my shock.. not only did they fit, they were not tight in the slightest, okay they are stretchy material and have an elastic waistband, but they fit, there is no way they would have a few months ago. Clare seems to think sizes have got bigger and maybe they have, but it made me feel a bit better before going out! I felt very good, which is a nice change :)

But it’s funny, I have read about people doing that, they see themselves are bigger than they actually are and I never thought I would be one of them, least not yet at this size!

I went to get a salad for dinner today, I had some red Devil Sauce with it, which I love, so god knows how many carbs in that, but I think I have done pretty well in that department, last day, woo. But it doesn’t really matter, I don’t know what I am doing wrong with my Byetta, but it is constantly making me sick, not just nausea, which is pretty bad, but terrible tummy pains and physically sick. I have been taking it for about five months now and Clare and most searches I have done seem to think the nausea should stop after six weeks and I shouldn’t be physically sick, especially not this far out, not unless I’m eating alot of food, which I can guarantee I am not, not even close. So I don’t know what is causing it, does anyone else have this experience with Byetta? I’ve read about pancreatitis being caused with Byetta, but I don’t think the pain is severe enough for it to be that, and it would be a bit dramatic! So Tuesday I shall ring Sian and see what she says I should do. But on the other hand, I do not want to stop taking it, because the thought of putting all this weight back on would be horrendous, I just don’t want to go there at all. So I don’t know what to do, two days in a row, I have been physically ill off small amounts of food, maybe its the fat in it, I’m not sure, but again, no food today, because I am now too scared to eat! Fun times.

If I don’t lose anything tomorrow I’m going to go crazy! You have been warned :p

H x

Wedding Bliss

24 May

I went to a wedding party tonight, the actual wedding was in Cypress last Monday, so they had a party for family and friends when they came back.

The bride was absolutely stunning in her dress, she seemed so happy and it was a lovely night.

All their wedding pictures were playing on a projection and it looked like an amazing day, the pictures with her husband to be and their children, such a happy little family.

It made me feel a little sad thinking about what I lost, what my weight got in the way of.

dont look backI miss having someone who knows me inside out.

It’s heartbreaking to know there was a way out of it and a possible chance of getting what I wanted but I never had the strength to get there. Makes most of my life seem totally worthless.


Food today was non existent, I had a carb free pizza, but I had byetta before I ate it and it didn’t stay in my tummy for long.

There was a hog roast tonight so that was totally out, I did get brought salad, but I was too scared in case I got ill again, so I sat there with my ice water and put some Go Splash into it instead!

I have to make it through tomorrow and my week is almost done. However, I really don’t think I have lost weight, which will be disappointing as hell! Never mind maybe I can commiserate with a Pizza Hut nomnom

Soon, H x

Fun day

23 May

I was brave again this morning, got in the bus and went to the next town. I know that won’t be anything major to most people, but it was a huge step for me. I met some interesting people on the bus too, it’s amazing how nice and chatty some people are, and they don’t judge, which is always a bonus!

I was meeting Clare, I’m so glad she found me on WLSinfo, I love her loads, we have been doing this together which makes it so much easier, she lifts me up when I’m down over not having surgery yet, she keeps me going. She does however walk like a lunatic and it’s hard for me to keep up with her, even her gorgeous four year old walks crazy fast.. I think she had to learn rather quick don’t think she had a toddle stage :p

We walked up the hill to Tesco, some nice body magic there and I picked up some things to make some no carb desserts, I shall show you my efforts tomorrow because I’m led in bed now. The cheesecake seemed like it was going to be lush though, very tasty indeed. It’s amazing what you can learn to do if you take the time and effort. Who would think you can make carb free cheese cake, not me that’s for sure!

I’m really enjoying doing this right now, do I miss carbs? I think I do, but I am coping so it’s not too bad, I thought I would be ready to kill by now, but I think just taking it day by day is helping loads, I tell myself if I really want something tomorrow then have it, but I haven’t given up, however I am struggling with the Slimming World aspect of this. I know how many syns, healthy extras and free food I can have, but I’m not taking that into consideration, because I need the cheese right now and healthy extras are all fibrey carbs which obviously I’m not having so I am a little scared of what this will mean for weight loss. Hopefully I will see something more than one and a half on Monday. I am still going because I love it there and my consultant is amazing, it’s my social night haha but oh well least I’m going out these days not like before. Three years being stuck in the house is no fun what so ever I can tell you.

I feel really proud of myself this week for sticking to this and going out on my own, it’s such a world away from when I was married, I wouldn’t want to go back there for anything.

Food today:
Babybel x2
Different nuts
4 egg omelette with cheese and onion
Some carb free cheesecake

More tomorrow x

Carbs, Carbs, Carbs!

22 May

I’m really starting to enjoy looking at whats in the food I want to eat.

Before I started this no carb week, I was buying some food in Asda and I wanted to be prepared in case I couldn’t cope, so I thought instead of bread, I’ll get some crackerbread, so I was looking for the one with the most protein and got that.

I'm already there!

I’m already there!

Me and the lovely Clare (who is now tiny!!) are always talking about diets, carbs, wls, my surgery, her surgery, how slow mine is and how I can’t cope much longer, she must get so fed up, I know I am already lol but as she has been diabetic for so much longer than me she knows so much more and today she told me about this site for negating your carbs, I thought it was great so decided to share.

The link is here, but I also wanted to copy it in case it ever goes offline. So just to clarify, none of this is mine and it is from the website


Plants contain fiber that your body cannot digest and absorb. Fiber is an important part of a healthy diet, helping you lower cholesterol and blood sugar levels and preventing constipation. Fiber is also a type of carbohydrate, so it must be considered when you are on a low-carb diet. Because fiber cannot be digested, most low-carb diet plans allow you to subtract the amount of fiber in the foods you eat to determine the usable, net or effective carbohydrate count.

Step 1

Determine the amount of the food you plan to eat and how that relates to serving size. This information can be found on the nutritional information label, from the manufacturer or online. For example, if the serving size is 1/2 cup and you plan to eat 1 cup, you will be eating two servings.

Step 2

Determine the total amount of carbohydrates in the food you are eating per serving, and multiply that by the number of servings you plan to eat. Total carbohydrates are available in the nutritional information. If you were eating two servings of a food that contains 10 g of carbohydrate per serving, the total amount of carbohydrate is 20 g.

Step 3

Determine the total amount of fiber in the food you are eating per serving, and multiply that by the number of servings you plan to eat. Fiber is typically listed under the carbohydrate amount. Include soluble fiber and insoluble fiber. If you were eating two servings of food that contains 5 g of fiber per serving, the total amount of fiber you would be having is 10 g.

Step 4

Subtract the amount of fiber from the amount of carbohydrates. In the above examples, the resulting equation would be 20 g of carbohydrate minus 10 g of fiber for 10 net, usable, effective carbs.

Step 5

Count the net, usable or effective carbs against your total carbohydrate allowance for the day. Count the amount of fiber you are eating toward your daily fiber intake goal. In the above example, you would be consuming 10 g of carbs and 10 g of fiber.


  • Sugar and sugar alcohols are listed as carbohydrates but cannot be subtracted because they do not contain fiber.

  • Protein products such as meat, fish and eggs, and dairy products such as milk, cream and butter, do not contain fiber unless it has been added during processing.

  • Including high-fiber foods in your low-carb diet allows you to eat more healthy fruits, vegetables and whole grains if they are allowed on your diet plan.


Another thing Clare is huge for is telling me she wishes she was a hunter/gatherer and wants to live like that again! She has no issues from where meat comes from, unlike most people who see it all packaged nice and pretty in the supermarket ready to cook. I however go all squeamish when she talks about it. And today she found out it actually has a name haha

Also not mine this comes from

Paleo Diet

Paleolithic diets emulate those of our ancestors Paleolithic diets emulate those of our ancestors

The paleolithic (or paleo) diet is based on the food that is believed to be similar to the daily diet of cave people.

The theory is that the food that cavemen and cavewomen survived on is good for health because it was what the human body was meant to eat.

Paleolithic diets are thought to be especially useful for people with diabetes.

What is a Paleo diet?

Paleolithic diets are categorised into two groups of food, in and out.

In foods include pre-agriculture/animal foods such as:

  • Meat
  • Fish
  • Shellfish
  • Eggs
  • Tree nuts
  • Vegetables
  • Roots
  • Fruit
  • Berries
  • Mushrooms

Out foods, or Neolithic era foods, which resulted from either agriculture or domesticated animals.

This cuts out a lot of the bad aspects of a Western diet.

Why would someone eat a Paleolithic diet?

Many people who eat paleolithic diets are looking to return to their roots and eat more healthily.

Advocates argue that the human genome was stable with this diet for 40,000 years. Some attribute Western diseases to our food choices.

The Paleolithic diet and diabetes

The diet is a relatively low carb diet and therefore generated interest amongst people with diabetes. As paleolithic diet ingredients are all low GI, they therefore place a low demand on the pancreas and could reduce the amount of medication needed.


So anyway I’m still going strong, for me to keep track

Food today:


Babybel x3


Quorn burger x2

Halloumi Cheese

She’s on the other side

22 May

Linda is on the losers bench.

She was waiting for her bed and had to ring yesterday morning to see if one was available, I sent her a message and never heard back off her all day, so I was starting to worry/wonder what was wrong, then realised she must have gone in!

So I rang the hospital a few times and after a bit of detective work, I found her ward and spoke to the sister to ask if she was ok last night and they said yes she is fine.

She rang me this morning and sounded a little rough, she said she was sore and had bad pains from the gas, but she’s done it now, on the other side, I’m so pleased for her.

Hopefully will catch up more when shes feeling a bit better.

For Linda I hope you lose everything you need to and have a wonderful life xx


21 May

Today has been really stressful, but I’m pleased to say I didn’t give up.

I’m a good girl, I’ve never got into any trouble, I even hate the thought of it, but today I was in court and found guilty, guilty of not having a tv license! If you’re in the uk, you will understand what that means, if you’re not I will quickly explain.

If you own a tv you are expected to have a license to watch live television (anything being broadcast in current time) I think it costs about £150 a year. When my partner moved away I stopped watching tv, I spend most of my time at my computer anyway and I was paying for sky tv and not watching it so cancelled my package and a few months later after reading the declaration I cancelled my license because I only watched catch up or dvds. Any way last November I had two officers come to my door and asked to look at tv so I let them in thinking it was okay, how stupid of me, they found out I could still get freeview and I got cautioned! So it went to court today and I felt like a criminal, I was told I couldn’t plead not guilty because I signed the statement, I didn’t realise she was the prosecutor, she basically forced me into changing my plea to guilty, I’ve never done anything wrong before so I was very upset as I hadn’t watched the Damn tv, I still don’t, but now I have a criminal conviction all because of the tv.
I’m gutted, I don’t think it really affects anything, but I’m so annoyed by it because I’ve been truthful.
People find it hard to believe that I don’t watch tv, but I honestly don’t and now I’ve been punished for it.
Felt very sad today,  but I stayed strong!

Food today:
Quorn sausage

Hopefully I will sleep better tonight.
Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
Sorry if the format is odd, I’m on my kindle

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